Aaron Loses the MIT 50K
A Short Story
by Aaron Greenspan

6:30 P.M.

After all this time, it's finally 6:30! Now I don't have to have this stupid contest hanging over my head any more.

6:35 P.M.

Aaron: Hi, Arianna. Now all we need is Neville.
Arianna: Hello. How are you.
Aaron: I'm doing well. You look very nice.
Arianna: No I don't; I'm dressed like a whore.
Aaron: Great! Tim will be there with his big camera to take your picture for the web site!
Arianna: NO! I don't want my picture taken. My parents might see it.
Aaron: All the more reason to take it! There's Neville...

6:40 P.M.

Good. We're not going to be late.
SCREEEEEEEEECH!
When was the last time they oiled the T? How does one oil a T, anyway?
Train Operator: This is an Ashmont train. Next stop, BRGUGHHSHSHGHHGHHGHGHGH.

6:45 P.M.

SCREEEEEEEEECH!
OK, now we're at Central. Note to self: remember to get off at the next stop.
Train Operator: This is an Ashmont train. Next stop, BRGUGHHSHSHGHHGHHGHGHGH.

6:50 P.M.

SCREEEEEEEEECH!
Aaron: That's obviously the sound that means, "welcome to MIT."
[Aaron, Arianna and Neville get off the train. All three make it through the turnstyle successfully. Going up the stairs, Arianna trips, leaving one of her (not) glass slippers behind, Cinderella-style. Aaron points out the fairy tale allusion, and Arianna proceeds to hit him.]

6:55 P.M.

[Arianna continues to hit Aaron.]
Aaron: This is sexual harassment, and I don't have to take it!
Arianna: No, it's not! [Hit]
[Aaron demotes Arianna to mail room slave, forever condemned to work in the non-existant Think Computer mail room, processing nothing in large quantities.]

7:05 P.M.

[Tim arrives with his big camera.]
Aaron: Why am I still carrying a disgustingly dirty newspaper that I picked up on the T?
Arianna: There's a clean one over there [pointing to chair] if you really want it!
Aaron: Shuttup.

8:30 P.M. - 9:00 P.M.

Walk-On-Water Man: Hi! With my walk-on-water shoes, you can walk from the Sea of Galillee to the Sea of the Caspian...um...Sea.
Help the Poor Man: We will revolutionalize the future!

9:02 P.M.

[Arianna trips over the Wong auditorium stairs, leaving one of her (not) glass slippers behind, Cinderella-style. Again.]
Aaron: Two.
Arianna: [Hit]
Aaron: Ow!

9:03 P.M.

[Tim snapping blurry photos of a grimacing Arianna to later be doctored by Aaron.]
Aaron: I wonder what the judges had to say... [Opening envelope]
Aaron: We have tenuous MIT connections? This isn't a profitable industry to be in now, or in the foreseeable future? Tim goes to MIT! We can't not make profit, because we have no overhead!
Arianna: Aaron, Tim won't let me be a Zoombini!

9:08 P.M.

10:00 P.M.

Thank god we lost. I couldn't take any more.